Hoping to start a business

So, I still fail at finding a job. Even a retail job. I’m starting to feel really inferior to all these other asian girls who happened to be incredibly fashionable and glammed up… I had a 3 minute interview at a clothing store. I didn’t get much of a chance to say much but I could already tell she wasn’t going to call me…

It’s not like I’m horrible in comparison, but I just don’t stand out like the other girls I suppose. I’ve been pretty plain jane lately because I chopped off all my hair, and I don’t have the clothes to look as presentable as I’d like to be (I threw a lot of clothing+shoes out when I moved). I’m just not the girl who wears a face full of make up and fake eyelashes with perfect hair. I can’t help but feel completely ugly lately because of these girls. Not that I want to be like them, but to everyone else they are gorgeous. Luckily though, I have a pretty awesome boyfriend. He appreciates my awkward geekiness.

No luck with a design job either. I had one call me for an interview, but of course someone else was better for the position. I haven’t been jobless this long before.  It’s starting to get to me… It’s been incredibly stressful and I’ve been feeling like absolute failure. My confidence has really gone down a lot. It’s frustrating when everyone else around you is finding design jobs but you. Ugh. I feel completely heart broken when I get a rejection or when I hear someone else have better success. I’m totally happy for them, but more miserable for myself.

But I’m not giving up! I’ve decided to just put everything aside and start a small business to take on freelance/contract work. I’ve been spending the past few weeks getting a new site together. I’m trying to build the confidence to do this, but also just forcing myself to do it because I really don’t have any other option right now. I hope all goes well.  I’m really excited about it because I’ve always to start a business, but just never had the courage or confidence to do it.

So here’s my chance to do it~!  If I can’t get a design firm to want me to work for them, then I will start my own.