Here we go again...

So I’m at that point again. I wanna move. I have a full time design job now, sure, but it’s not what I want. I am again stuck in another newspaper/publication office. I mean, it’s definitely an upgrade from my last job (although pay is nowhere as good), it’s so unfulfilling. It’s just production work. All I do is check over ads, build them when they’re needed and help put pages together. *yawn* And the rest of the time goes to me trying to keep myself from falling asleep. 

My art director tried to give me a project to do.. fill ads.. basically I can do whatever I want with them. Go all out. I did a few, but I just can’t get into it. It’s so uninspiring to just make fill ads. I don’t enjoy it at all. I wish I had a tablet with a pen here at work, so I have an excuse to draw. I can use my illustrations as fill ads or something. But I am handicapped with an optical mouse with no mouse pad. I have it on a white piece of paper, but it’s just not doing the job. So moving navigating with my mouse has been a real pain in the ass and slows down what I do. It’s so frustrating. 

:( I’m just sick of being told I have so much potential and talent but still doing production work and retail. :( It’s just becoming so discouraging that I’m starting to think I’m going to make a career change. I’m probably going to be stuck in the stereotype of doing nails or hair. Fuck. :( I can’t do jack shit for both, either. 

Been given lots of opportunities, but in the end I always seem to get screwed over. Every time. I’m serious. Either the job doesn’t go through, or they rip me off by not/under paying me. But I’ll still keep trying. It’s just incredibly disheartening.